There are a lot of submissions here, but this one
is our favorite.
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Editor's note: Thanks for pointing out the mistake -- it's been fixed.
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 01:56:31 Name: natalie E-Mail: nkeats@mpc.wa.gov.au Homepage: don't have one, don't want one and people who do have too much time on their hands and should be in the sunshine. I like it alot, I know it wasn't suppose to be funny but I laughed all the way through it.
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 16:21:11 Name: Diane Benham E-Mail: dlb@pop.uky.edu I noticed in one section you had written "nobody but us has the balls to tell them to go away" (or something to that effect) when it should read "everybody but us..." At least, it would seem to make more sense that way. By the way, I thought the FAQ was hilarous, and so very true here in Lexington (Kenfucky, don't you know?)
Editor's note: Uhhhh... whatever, dude.
Date: Thu, 6 Aug 1998 20:56:56 Name: Angel E-Mail: angelous_valdipar@yahoo.com Homepage: Don't have one and don't care Finally someone who speaks the truth. Near dallas Mansonites are a plague and to be blunt I think they need to Get their facts staight MANSON IS A BAD MINSRTY RIPP OFF POSER!!! They have the nerve to say i'm not a goth just because i'm a christan. Being goth isn't about a single relgion or type of person. Don't think for one Second that i'm any less goth because of my relgion. This flood of posers has demended our entire subculture and makeing the real goth's get pinned for their stupidity. Well that's all i'm gonna rant about now. Please note the name angel is my pen name i'm a poet.
Editor's note: Please don't send us questions like this. We are not in the business of giving personal fashion advice.
Date: Sun, 9 Aug 1998 02:33:41 Name: dAV.d E-Mail: tortured@hotmail.com Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Lounge/8500 at first i thought you for a rude sack of testicles...but you're right! i hate hot topic and for the most part hate the "goths" around here, i always knew they blew sheep. how do you get a goth out of a tree? cut the rope.
Date: Thu, 13 Aug 1998 20:39:52 Name: Greta E-Mail: barefootwoman@hotmail.com Thanks for the laugh, kids! Glad y'all found something to keep ya off the streets, pet.
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 03:32:18 Name: jen E-Mail: jenlvsjen1@hotmail.com Oh My Goth .. this has to be the funniest .. but most honest thing i have ever read about goths online .. well anyways .. late-JenJen
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 15:54:03 Name: jen E-Mail: lushigoth@hotmail.com Q.What do you say if you happen to have to talk to one of these fat net.goths? A. We should all learn a few simply words that will save ourselves and our clubs.. i promise if you say it once you will never have a need to repeat yourself .. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SCENE!!!!!!!!!!" this works btw ..
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 1998 16:26:08 Name: Lunar_Eclipes E-Mail: catndhat@sfsu.edu I'm a morbid individual who prefers the darkness of life rather than the overrated socially accepted happiness of life. I'm am of the black culture and my question is how what in your opinion would be best to improve a black mans face to look more morbid (without looking like a vampire), like hair for example I prefer it all off. What do you recommend for the rest?
Editor's note: This is exactly the kind of person we are complaining about. Goth isn't a scene to him -- it's a "lifestyle". I'll bet this person claims to be "goth on the inside". You can tell that he's overintellectualized the whole thing because he uses phrases like "exterior mode of expression". And why does he feel that he has to "advance his subculture"? What does that even mean? We'll tell you what it means: it means that he can't get accepted by real society, so he found a bunch of other losers on the Internet and they all decided that if they call themselves a "subculture" they don't have to make excuses for not having any real friends who they didn't meet using the computer.
Date: Wed Sep 16 17:58:53 EDT 1998 Name: jennifer Anne E-Mail: Jheuser@nv2.cc.va.us I have not read anything this funny and true in such a long time. My thanks for metioning rockabilly as music listened to by goth - punks, the answer on Hot Topic stores was the best, my feelings exactly. Oh, and I always knew it was true that most goths are such wimps it was nice to see someone else agree. I never could quite be goth enough, I just have to punk stuck in me. Agian, thanks for a great read!!!
Date: Fri Sep 18 00:06:35 EDT 1998 Name: none of your goddam business E-Mail: i'd tell you if i wanted your poser ass to correspond Homepage: ditto here, fucker you seem to forget that not only is gothic a style of dress & music, but those of us who ARE gothic, do more. we live the entire lifestyle ... and we didn't need some musicians to tell us what to do. thanks to your poser ass, you are illuding young impressionables into thinking goth is an exterior mode of expression. thanks to your pitiful, disgruntled, i wish i were andrew eldritch ass, the bona fide goths have to now work harder to advance our subculture & prove that we are not all plastic... like you.
Editor's note: Sorry, kid, it sounds like you are indeed one of the "losers we described". You're 14, you're an outcast at your school, and you're looking for an excuse to explain the fact that you have no friends. "Goths, freaks, watever [sic]"? We're sorry, but you totally missed the point. Reread the FAQ -- carefully, this time.
Date: Thu Oct 1 20:15:30 EDT 1998 Name: (this person requested to remain anonymous) Hi, i just read your page i thought it was great i got the part about not asking pathetic questions to you i dont know wat i can say to comfort u that i'm not one of the losers you described, but i think i'll have to take that risk cuz i'm fuckin desperate, i'm 14 i just moved to NY, i think i live in some place called like westchester-mamaroneck, i dunno something like that, my parents put me in this little preppy ass school that i hate more than shit n i need to meet people could you please tell me some places i could go where i could have fun and meet real people, goths, freaks watever just not trendy little bitches or dumbfuck looser-posers like u described i would really appreciate it thanx a lot hope i didn't waste too much of your time
Editor's note: Not mean, just honest. Some people don't find it depressing at all -- they find it funny and reassuring.
Date: Mon Oct 26 07:14:15 EST 1998 Name: morbius E-Mail: morbius@vcn.bc.ca That was pretty depressing. You're mean.
Editor's note: We don't want to single out individuals and make them feel bad, unless they've done something more noteworthy than looking ugly.
Date: Thu Nov 19 15:37:12 EST 1998 Name: StarBlood...er...I mean Brian E-Mail: Bryen193@aol.com Homepage: http://member.aol.com/bryen193/index.html glorious...brilliantly funny...spot on...this is from someone who recently stumbled into NYC's Vampire Club quite by mistake and now know what it is to laugh and cry at the same time...Hey, wait a minute I'M on that net.goth picture page...and I have one of those oh-so-goffy net names...shit, I could be one of those losers...oh well, at least I'm not fat...
Date: Fri Dec 25 17:09:45 EST 1998 Name: lizz E-Mail: sugrstickygrrl@hotmail.com Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/wellesley/1854 so, i went to the goth picture gallery at gothic.net and i am so confused. 1. people were smiling in many pictures. This is very confusing to see a girl who calls herself 'painmaker' smiling in the bright sun behind trees in what looks like a perky senior picture. i didn't think goth fashion allowed such flights of whimsy as smiling. 2. i am thinking i should submit a picture. no, i am not gothic, but i thought of a great name: lady mange. scary huh? or maybe barbie. that is pretty frightening. 3. so are those lords and ladies really royalty? wow. anyway, please feel free to make fun of my hotmail addy name. i do. what is the fun if you can't rididcule people? oh yeah, when mentioning going to gothic.net, you should suggest specific people for us to gawk and laugh at.
Editor's note: This is a sad, sad commentary on the state of public education in America today.
Date: Mon Jan 18 10:09:49 EST 1999 Name: Erinn E-Mail: Xxviolet@aol.com your a piece of shit where the hell do you get your information gothic isnt even suppost to be a fashion trend like a whole bunch of dumbasses are making it its suppost to be a way a life
Editor's note: We're pretty sure this was sent to us as a joke, but then, you never know.
Date: Tue Jan 19 16:20:53 EST 1999 Name: Patrick E-Mail: chrysophylax@hotmail.com Well, I don't know whether to thank you or strangle you for making my work difficult. The FAQ was damn-ass funny in a Dennis Leary sort of way, and that was awesome. Unfortunatly, I am doing a project on the "Gothic Subculture" for my final project in a Comparative Civilisations class and I came here for information on a subculture. I've found evidence of a subculture, as per music, literature, fashion, and social outlooks, but if isn't Gothic, what the HELL am I studying? Well, I can't really call my presentation "Losers In Black: a study of a failed and misnamed sub-culture", so I guess I'll have to call it Gothic. Hopefully not TOO many dorks will join your clubs. Personally, since I'm not a Goth, nor do I have any intention in becoming one, I'd rather have them there, than following me around. Well, the page was fun, if rather disillusioning, and keep it up I suppose.
Date: Wed Jan 20 16:55:53 EST 1999 Name: Hecate (Moon Goddess) Greetings. I just wanted to tell you that your FAQ made even me laugh, and I have nothing to laugh for. I'm a 16 year old goth girl and I love Nine Inch Nails (Trent will always be my soulmate), Ministry, The Cure, and Type O Negative (Peter is beautiful). I feel that these bands are my only friends...the only ones who understand me. I also love reading and writing deep and insightful poetry which is as black as my mood and lifestyle. My mood becomes so black that I often have recurring suicidal thoughts. I feel quite a lot that this mortal coil can no longer bear my burden. What should I do? I have nowhere else to turn.
Editor's note: He's got a point about American beer being watered-down shit. Well, piss, anyway. Like Dennis Hopper said in Blue Velvet, "Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"
Date: Sat Jan 23 09:26:39 EST 1999 Name: Nick E-Mail: nickturan@hotmail.com Homepage: erm No! I know what your saying in the FAQ all these "goths" fat bloke of jarassic park hehe i love that. Anyway net.goths etc half of em are Manson freaks and the other hald are selfritous NIn listening i have no friends and i take my self WAY to serioulsy. HEY i'm a brit and on the beer front wee can't hold out beer cus our beer ain't no watered down shit ya get in the usa hehehe. Anyway nice page mate bet it made a load of fake goths feel lonley again after reading it heheh.
Editor's note: By jove, I think she's got it! You're finally paying attention.
Date: Sat Jan 23 12:33:39 EST 1999 Name: Dana O'keefe E-Mail: okeffe@hotmail.com I guess being gothic equals being an asshole :)
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Date: Mon Jan 25 15:58:59 EST 1999 Name: (this person requested to remain anonymous.) I liked the guestbook the best. I was particularly impressed by 'angel', who whilst claiming to be a poet managed to fit 17 separate spelling or grammatical mistakes into just three paragraphs. Don't give up the day job. It's interesting to note that all the people with 'cool' email addresses were the ones unable to express themselves coherently or even spell correctly.